Prepping Your Kids
One of the most common things I hear when a parent schedules a photoshoot is “I’ve been putting this off for so long because I know my kids will hate it and they never listen.” It always makes me chuckle because I get it. I’m a mom and I’ve been there many times. Kids are unpredictable and it feels like there is so much pressure for the them to “behave” during this one specific hour, regardless of how the day has gone, how meals and naps have been, and whether or not someone has an ear infection.
What I want to say to every parent who is nervous about this is that I understand kids. I won’t be judging your kids or your parenting by the way they act for an hour while we are together.
I have so much compassion for kids in this situation because I think they can feel that there’s pressure and it causes stress. I work really hard to make our photoshoots fun and laid-back for kids and to build in time for them to warm up to me. I do think, though, that there are a few things that help set them up for success, so I’d love to share some tried and true thoughts!
Eat and Sleep
When you’re scheduling your photoshoot, consider your family rhythms and what is normal for your kids. Try to choose a time that’s not during a typical sleeping time or eating time. And if your session is near a typical meal time, have a snack beforehand or eat dinner early. So many problems can be solved with a snack ;)
Talk about this as a fun thing!
I think so often, we can project our worries onto the kids and say things like “I just need you to get through this.” Instead, I think it helps to tell the kids that we will have fun. Because we will! Tell the kids that you’re going to hang out outside altogether and do some fun and silly things and that there will be a lady with a camera. If they’re curious about my camera, I love showing it and explaining what it does! If your kids have ideas about what they want to do for their pictures, I will always make time to do it (even if it sounds ridiculous!) A word of caution: if you tell the kids to “smile!” or “smile normal!” it typically makes kids give some pretty weird “smiles.” It’s way easier if we try to create an environment that’s happy and fun so that they smile naturally.
Keep bribes to a minimum.
First off, I’ll say that I’m not judging anyone’s parenting practices. Seriously—I’m there to enjoy time with your family and freeze time fora moment so that you can remember this stage of your lives. Everyone does that differently and what works for one person doesn’t work for everyone. One thing I will say, though, is that using a lot of promises and bribes often doesn’t work out well for getting natural expressions and having fun. I think when we say things like “just do this one thing and then I’ll __________” can set it up as if this activity will be painful. I often say that I don’t want your kids to see me like they see the dentist. Instead, say “first we are going to have fun at the park while Casey takes our pictures. After that, we’re going to get donuts!” In my experience, tying a fun activity to our photoshoot as a reward can make kids feel pressured and lose that fun, natural feel.
What do your kids love?
Lastly, consider including a toy or a lovey that matters to your kids, especially if they are really young. Some of my favorite family photos often end up being the ones where everyone is reading a favorite book or the kids are snuggling a stuffed animal. Typically, the kids will agree to some pictures without the toys as they become more comfortable. They also think it’s pretty cool if their stuffed animal can “help” me take the pictures. Finally, if there’s a song or a character or an activity that your child loves, let me know! I know the theme songs to just about every kids show, and I’m definitely willing to look silly singing if that means a great smile!
Have fun!
I saved the most important for last. If you’re having fun, your kids will have fun too. Be willing to laugh and tell jokes and be silly. Let them tickle you. Agree to one picture with silly faces. I promise, it will go a long way!
